Voyeurism 101: Saturday Morning at the Soda City Market in Six Easy Lessons

1)

Arts and crafts – your name in wood,

Handmade bird houses and bowls to sit on a shelf

Tee-shirts – tie dyed, cute sayings, political epithets,

Painted flags, cows and chickens with claws, birds on the beach

Handmade pens and jewelry maybe imported from third world sweatshops

2)

Food booths and trucks – artisan roasted coffee

If there’s not a long line, you wonder why

Asian, Hispanic, African or AfriKan, southern cuisine,

Pick your poison – purchase Kaopectate on the way home

3)

Produce – fresh, home grown or fresh off the dock

Berries out of season must come in on a plane

Honey – flavored, diluted, repackaged in fancy bottles – smear

On fresh baked bread from the booth next door

Who cares, if you can brag you bought it at an outdoor street market

4)

Young and old – dressed to hide, to impress, be seen,

Send a message or maybe to kill

Androgyny in a bikini and high heels carries an umbrella

To keep out of the sun, wear your sunglasses to ogle and stare

Ask yourself when and why did the hula hoop crowd go out of style?

5)

Buskers – good, not so good and downright bad

Originals and covers, one step from karaoke,

Disney, Opryland, Austin City Limits or America’s Got Talent

Someone should tell them speaker size does not increase tips

6)

In a city owned flower bed where urban dog owners let

Their babies sniff and pee, a street preacher stands

Ankle deep in naturally fertilized greenery throwing pearls before the swine,

Condemns passersby to hell and damnation, promises

His brand of holy will somehow save them from alcohol, porn and drugs

He never discriminates who puts money in his offering jar

6)

Buy a $9 bag of boiled peanuts to take home to your partner

Because that what loving partners do

7-3-22


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