self-hate

My great grandmother was orphaned at three,

only child of a widowed Irish immigrant

and widowed native American woman.

She was baptized in St Anne’s Catholic Church

and raised by half-siblings on her father’s side.

When she married a Quaker, she was not allowed communion,

but still attended mass; sat quietly in the back pew,

touched the holy water, if no one was looking.

Her daughter had coal black hair, high cheekbones and looked native;

she destroyed the only picture of her grandmother’s wedding,

because she wore deerskins, beads and feathers.

Ashamed of her heritage,

self-hate is a heavy burden to pass down through generations.

Be kind to yourself, so your children grow up

proud of who they are and free of self-doubt.

4-26-23