That guy

I am that guy

that guy who stands in a museum

up close to a Frankenthaler painting

looking at an individual stroke

where a brush fiber rises up

thinking everything I discern had meaning

for the painter

I am that guy

that guy who stares at a Kahlo piece

from across a gallery

trying to feel the totality of her composition

because up close I want to cry

and I don’t think

she painted to make me cry

I am that guy

that guy who is too afraid to paint

because I don’t know how

to pick through feelings and emotions

to accept that I am still the odd man out

sitting in the hall wanting to come inside

and laugh with my classmates

7-17-20